Have you ever been to a place where you feel everyone has something to say but you? Where there are so many cliques of friendship that there seem to be no room for you. At times like that you might tend to beat yourself up and the negative voice in your head begins to speak louder with words like, 'see why can’t you fit in like so and so? there is definitely something wrong with you, you are not confident’ bla bla. You start to feel like a fish out of water. Of course you are! Okay I’ll explain that in a minute. As a human being you are wired for connection but as an introvert the way you build those connections differ. If you judge a fish by its ability to survive outside water, you are wrong about the fish because if the fish is placed in water it will swim. I said it will swim! That might not be a mic drop sentence for you but it is for me. A fish was meant to swim so it will swim and survive in water not on land. You are meant to thrive in the right environment. Find that right environment and you will thrive. You can’t judge a fish by its ability to survive on land so why do you put yourself down based on your ability to wow the crowd at random places. You lead with purpose and you do not follow the crowd. If there is anything you should learn today it is to protect your mind. Protect your mind from the negative voices that are comparing you with others. Pave your path with intention and have a quiet confidence to stand alone when you need to. Have the quiet confidence to observe and learn from others without wishing you were them. Have the quiet confidence to not interrupt yourself when you are deep in thoughts. You speak with intention. So speak when you have something to say and don’t beat yourself up for not speaking at random.
When an extrovert is looking for something to do, they talk; when an introvert is looking for something to do, they think – you are wired to think first, then talk; so why do you judge yourself by the ability to speak at random?
Now I am not saying we don’t talk, that is far from the truth; we talk with intention cos it takes energy to do so. We are graced with one unique trait – meekness - which can often be misinterpreted; What does meekness really mean? – strength under control. Meekness is a character I have grown to embrace; some might mistaken it as weakness but again that is far from the truth. Have the quiet confidence to embrace your meek nature; speak from the abundance of your heart – that is when you make an impact to your world. I want you to develop your quiet confidence. How?, you might ask. First by allowing yourself to just BE. You are a human being not a human doing. Learn to just BE! Be comfortable with just being. Breath in and out and enjoy your true nature. Just Be. Secondly I want you to stop judging yourself – be your best cheerleader. If you are always bothered about what people think, you will not move forward. There is a famous quote: I am not what you think I am; I am not what I think I am; I am what I think you think I am. Often times this is true; because I believe you think of me in a certain way so I go ahead to maintain my perceived statue quo or I try to proof you wrong by my actions. However the question is how do I know what you think of me; in most cases it is through my perception. I would like you to change that narrative. Stop thinking for people by judging yourself negatively. The battle is won or lost in your head so be your own best cheerleader. Remind yourself who you are. You are loved, you are wonderful and fearfully made, made with intentions. One word I recently heard is Flaw-some – flawed and awesome. You are flaw-some. We are all flawed human beings, no exception, that’s why we needed a saviour. Embrace everything about you and do not hold yourself back.
The third point to develop the quiet confidence is to set your own expectations. When you set your expectation, you are more than likely to achieve it. Why? Because you set it. If I have decided to go for a meeting; I set my expectation on what I want to achieve from that meeting; my expectation leads me confidently to the little steps I need to achieve that expectation. I don’t feel burdened by the steps or the actions that I take because I set it. I am confident in my abilities to think through it and execute.
So my friends these 3 steps would help you develop your quiet confidence. Just BE i.e be you; be your best cheer leader and set your own expectations. I hope you can see what is possible when you embrace your unique nature. Like they say the world doesn’t need another copy. Don’t be a copy when you can be your original – your unique, flaw-some original!
Until next time my friend, its your host Sylvia Nwokolo reminding you to Keep winning, thriving and shining. God bless.
Sylvia Nwokolo is a Wellbeing Coach and Author.
For your free breakthrough call, click here.
To get Sylvia's new ebook Godly, Thriving & Confident Kids, click here