Hey friend, Its Sylvia Nwokolo and I am glad you have joined me on this journey. I class myself as a thriving introvert enlightening not just introverts but anyone who wants to be empowered to thrive and be all that they are purposed to be. So welcome to my world.
A friend of mine asked me of recent if I still thought myself as an introvert and my answer was.. of course! You might wonder why she asked; cos she had been around me for so long that she now saw me differently, she saw the talkative and outgoing part of me. I always had something to say. In fact one of my daughters said to me sometime ago, mummy you have so many things to say just like me – and this my daughter is not an introvert. I really wouldn’t have classed myself as talking too much but I guess I have a lot to teach them about life. Now hearing from this friend and my daughter you would mistaken me as an outgoing person but put me in a different setting and it will be more obvious to you. I can be in my head a lot of times, a deep thinker but I am gradually forming my tribe and I go where I can be relevant or I can intentionally live out my purpose. Let me paint another picture as the case is different with my team members as an engineer. I could be classed as being quiet with not much to say, not much banter but I am intentional. In fact I was waiting for my manager to play the you should work on being confident card in my performance review then I told him that I may not be the loudest person in the room but I speak when I need to speak and just get on with the work. My work speaks for itself. I recently attended a training meeting at the office were there were lots of interaction at the training. People asking questions, wanting their voice to be heard etc; However on this occasion I was on mute silent, listening to the wealth of knowledge in the room while at the same time wondering what I was doing there. By day 3 of the meeting I had given up, I was exhausted being in the same room with the lot that I just wanted to have lunch by myself on my own, with no small talk. I used to be hard on myself previously but now I know better. This is me, and if you are going to judge me for not speaking up just for speaking up sake, so be it! I am not interested. Sometimes I attend a meeting with my spouse and after wards give him some analysis of the meeting that he was oblivious to – my husband is an extrovert. So when I am in that meeting and not saying much, I don’t beat myself up that I am not like my extroverted husband. I just BE!
Of course if it is a meeting I am cheering, I have come prepared, with a purpose, I am intentional about the meeting agenda and I will speak up. It is always so much easier if one is aware of the purpose and intention of a meeting beforehand but this not always practical. As an introvert don’t be forced to speak up because of fear of what people would think if you don’t. You are a good listener at heart and also good at analysing, and while you are at it, if you have something to say, say it, if not don’t be afraid to give your analysis later after the meeting. I think we put too much pressure on ourselves to try and out do our colleagues or listen to the voice in our head telling us to just talk that we forget we are graced with meekness – strength under control. Listen then talk with intention. And if eventually you don't really have anything to say, then don’t. No judgement.
As an introvert you have to learn to be your biggest cheer leader. Be grounded that you are uniquely made and you have a voice. When your voice needs to be heard, don’t be afraid to use it because you feel you have been silent for too long. Use your voice intentionally.
This is why you have to choose your association intentionally. I know in a school you are thrown into some classroom environment that you would not have chosen for yourself and there might be a lot of toxicity trying to make you question your identity and name you as shy, but choose your friends carefully, knowing that you have a lot to offer them. Don’t suck up to people by thinking you owe them a favour because they became your friend. You are a valuable friend, choose your inner circle carefully cos you’ve got a lot to offer. If you haven’t already, you will eventually find your tribe where you express yourself (and be mistaken for an extrovert ha), or an avenue like this where you let out what the world needs to hear so you can live your life with purpose. Either way no matter where you are at on the journey of life, you have a lot to give; a lot to say; a lot to contribute to your world.
Other than the holy spirit, my journal is my best friend. Having a journal is a key thing for me cos that's were I get to articulate my thoughts and make room for more. Treasure your thoughts, write them down and be a gift to your world. The world needs the unique you don’t dilute you by trying to be someone else.
Until next time my friend, its your host Sylvia Nwokolo reminding you to Keep winning, thriving and shining. God bless.
Sylvia Nwokolo is a wellbeing coach and author.
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