As an introvert I have been perceived to be many things – stuck up, snub, quiet, shy, laid back and unfriendly especially within a large crowd. What happened to innocent till proven guilty? Well my friend, this is hardly the case with first impressions. Most of my close friends did not become my friend from having a discussion within a crowd of friends. They became my friends from one on one encounter with me. I call it an encounter because I can manifests many versions of me depending on my mood. However if you would judge me based on only your first impression of me you would miss an opportunity to discover a friend that sticks closer than a brother. This is same with most introverts I know. I remember a lady I knew casually from a friendship group that one of my friend organised. I felt there was a wall or a guard she put up. She had a front and from experience I felt it was normal especially from one with a Nigerian origin living abroad (I can only speak for Nigerians), the front says mind your business and I like to keep to myself; so I went ahead to mind my business for a long time but it didn’t just end there, I’ll fill you in later.
I believe that everyone is doing their best with the limited knowledge they have.
I don’t believe we are meant to be friends with everyone. However go with me on this thought process for a second, what if we look past the front, the perception of people and connect with them one on one without judgement, then we can make meaningful relationships and build lasting connections. The person you look at and think they have it all going for them would benefit from you being a friend as much as you would having a friend.
Back to my friend mentioned earlier, it happened that I was at a point where I assessed my spiritual life and recognised I needed a prayer partner and I reached out to this lady, and as if I knew she needed one too, our connection began. Who would have known that this stuck up friend – an introvert as well would become one of my closest friend – a case of mistaken identity.
Sometimes the society puts a label on you that would be so easy for you to accept. A mother making an excuse for her quiet child while trying to introduce her to a friend immediately says.. ‘o she’s shy’. No she’s not! - don’t put a label on her. A student noticing his quiet classmate – the deep thinker, goes ahead to pick on him. A colleague labelling his co-worker as not confident enough because he doesn’t contribute openly in a rather large meeting. A manager overlooking his worker and not engaging with him or not giving him the promotion his work deserves because the manager feels he is not aggressive enough. Labels labels labels. Shy, Quiet, Not confident! Refuse to be labelled.
How? You might say..
By looking within. Discover all the gift that is placed inside you and take action on them. As an introvert I thrive when I am on a mission. Discover your mission daily, weekly, yearly and stay focused.
You thrive based on your perception of you not on others perception of you. The problem is that we take on others perception of us as our own perception – a case of mistaken identity
You have a lot to bring to the table and the moment you realise your worth – your unconditional worth, the moment you start living your life with unconditional acceptance. As an introvert the world would make you think you don’t have much to give especially within a large crowd but life is not in the noise and life is definitely not in the crowd. No matter how much you would wished you could be the loudest person at the party, that truly isn’t you.
You have a silent super power that if you would only allow it, it would lead you to places and spaces you could have only dreamed of. I want to urge you today to own your identity, take your place and occupy space unapologetically and be all that God has called you to be. We are not of those that shrink back. May I remind you that you are perfectly made. However to be all you were made to be you need to look within first. Let me end today’s episode by giving you a short assignment. I would like you to ask yourself: Who am I?
For me amongst many things I could say about myself: I am a Jesus lover, I am a dependable wife, an inspiring mum, a trustworthy friend, a capable colleague, and a transformational coach
If you are struggling to define yourself right now. It’s time to change the narrative. Define who you want to be and start owning it.
Until next time my friend, its your host Sylvia Nwokolo reminding you to Keep winning, thriving and shining. God bless.